How Social Media Disappearance Re-branding is feeding comparison culture.

There is this imaginary pressure and sense of urgency that has been instilled in our current culture, who live out most of their lives on social media. That is not honest, either.

If could rid the world of anything, it would be our very human need for comparison of ourselves to one another. (And all major life-threatening diseases, of course.)

Comparing ourselves to others is an age old affliction of the human condition; especially in our modern society (even pre-social media). The saying "Keeping up the Joneses'" was created by cartoonist Arthur R. Momand in 1913 to depict the McGinis who endeavored to catch up socially with their neighbors The Joneses.  Hence the saying. 

I started noticing when I began transitioning into spiritual entrepreneurial work that as I researched my industry and niche, swells of comparison envy would arise within me. I would find myself re-working documents, projects and social media posts obsessing and chasing the perfect fictional formula (and hashtag) that would set me apart from a sea of millions.

Like you, I’ve spent a great deal of my disposal free time developing myself, making sure to not disconnect from myself or turn against myself. Comparing ourselves to others can do this in an instant.

Still as I worked through building my businesses, there were times where I found myself a little envious, a little charmed and mostly in awe of others who were just killing it out there in the world. Being their bad ass self.

But how much of what I saw, was real? What was I really comparing myself to? And how much help did these “bad ass” people have when it came to how they showed up?

There is this imaginary pressure and sense of urgency that has been instilled in our current culture, who live out most of their lives on social media. That is not honest, either. (see my post on The Economics of Influencing). On the internet, you can be anyone and anything. You can invent and reinvent yourself a million times over, and no one will find a flaw in your background.

There is a current marketing trend, taking hold that emphasizes comparison culture and intentionally obscures reality.

It is called “Social Media Disappearance Re-Branding.” The goal is to pull you off social media for 4-6 weeks, while a team reinvents your marketing, your profile, your website, your social media channels, and your business—all with the intention of bringing you back into the fold under the guise of something more flashy and interesting.

All of which costs and enormous amount of money, just for more clicks. More likes. More followers.

Not only do we want to remove the knee jerk response to compare, we want to remove it because we are not being sold an honest bill of goods, through social media.

Comparing ourselves to others is so energetically draining. And creatively stifling too. It’s even more exhausting, if the playing field is not level.

Coming back into my empowerment and desire to be released from the clutches of comparison, I found a creative solution to combat my involvement with comparison culture. I dived deep into staying focused on what I was doing and never worrying if someone was outpacing me, out dancing me, or out re-branding me.

I decided that the best thing I could do was put my proverbial blinders on.

There is that famous quote that says, “comparison is the thief of joy” and it is 100% true.

I was snatching my joy and the enthusiasm I felt for my work and the possibility of what I could build, when I looked at what other people were doing and felt my work wasn’t compelling enough, or flashy enough.

So I slapped on my imaginary blinds, I got to work and I didn’t let myself get distracted by what other people were working on in their entrepreneurial or creative lives. I did not get caught up in comparing my work to anyone else's. 

Every time that part of my psyche and subconscious would try to creep up and start to barrage me with thoughts and images about what other people were doing; I would offer myself self-compassion and redirect my focus back to what I was working on.

To minding my business, literally and figuratively. (which is a spiritual practice in itself, as covered in my interview with Eden Tull)

I was training my mind with redirection and compassion in the same way you might train a sweet little puppy who wants to nibble on everything. With gentle "no's' and removing the item being destroyed. 

With self-led energy and internal regard for my well-being, I removed the objects of my comparison and reminded myself gently, “we weren't doing that anymore.”

It does take a level of self-awareness and self-discipline to proactively not engage with content, material, people, or social media if it bleeds into your sense of self, or self-worth, and mental health.

Because it is exhausting mentally, to live in comparison culture. The goal is always moving. But being able to bring in non-judgement, tenderness and creating healthy boundaries first with yourself and then externally allows you to recalibrate. To reset.

Resetting, can give you internal space to create a process for yourself and to honor how you interact with the bombardment of comparison. Comparison culture before social media was bad. But it is a new, and enormous beast unto itself in these modern and shaky times. There is no rule book or road map to figuring out how to mindfully stay in your lane—where you don’t feel stifled or urged to do more. This is something that each of us will have to investigate on our own. To create padding and buffers, so that we continue to create, build, expand, and engage joyously with ourselves, our work, and the world—and not have anything intangibly stolen from us.

Bringing in that level mindfulness into my daily business practice helped me transform my relationship with the outside world and myself.

You what happened?

I found liberation and unending joy. Like buckets and buckets of joy.

I found that releasing my own judgment about where I should be, what I should be doing, cleared up space in my mind.  I could relax.

It also allowed my envy to recede so that when I did come across other people's work, I could appreciate what they were doing without grasping or creating dissatisfaction within myself.

In addition, I watched as my work grew and met the hearts and minds of people who resonated the content I was creating. These beautiful strangers who reflected back to me how my work, creativity, stories, humor, and work helped them and what they loved about it. 

And that was enough.

It is great to admire the work of others. That’s what we are here to do on Earth, to love and support one another. However, if we find our admiration morphing into envy or comparison and we start to judge ourselves or put ourselves down.  Or we stop creating or building.

Well that’s dangerous territory. 

In all things we must always be our own best friend and hold ourselves in the highest positive regard, regardless of what the world is doing around us. We must love everything about what we are, what we do, and what we contribute in this world and nothing less.

Put your blinders on for a while, see what deepens or changes within you.